pictureofhappiness

Today was a really good day! One that I am so greatful for. I have a needed a day like today for awhile.

I thank Jesus for the sermon today- I think alot of people do.
I have had my challenges for sometime, but the last 7 months have been expecially heart breaking. With my daughter and then dealing with things that she’s been through, and combining that with reactions/comment from inlaws. It has been kicking my ass. Throw in headaches fuzzyclouding ones or migraines, not being being real out going to start with and I have just been a mess. It would seem not growing spiritually “outwardly” atleast but I must be growing because if I did not believe in Jesus, well I wouldn’t being writing this write now and. I am still hurting a great deal but If I did BELIEVE I don’t think I’d be able to appreciate today.

In my times of sorrow I don’t forget the reality of Jesus and that “This to shall pass” but it doesn’t mean the way I feel isn’t real or the time it takes ME to heal is not acceptable or whatever it might be that causes the hurt isn’t justifable. The important thing is “To not forget Christ” and that he is working in me/he will work in me.

People tell me it’s that age oh she just being a teenager! Most don’t even have teenagers yet! Even when they do they may react differently. But right now for me and what I am experiencing. My heart is broken, I feel has if I mourning at times. Mostly at night, the day may have gone well, but I lay down to go to sleep and the realization that she’s not in the next room brings me to tears. Its hard not to think of all the things that could have been different, the times I could have been a little nicer to her, but there are things I wouldn’t do different and I don’t believe I should have. There are also the things that other people could have done differently or said differently. You know that would have been the “Christian thing to do”, but it doesn’t always work that way doesn’t? They may be so awesome to so many people ready to pray or listen to a brother or sister at the drop of a hat, but for whatever reason my daughter and I would be the exception to there awesome cristian walk.
I pray for more heart to be softened to this , I really need it.

Even with the sincere sorrow I have regarding my daughter and the hardness I have in my heart for “other people”, and probably will have for a little while yet!
I do believe there will be the day that Jesus has pulled me through it.

Thank you Jesus for a day that let me see the other side! and a sermon that comforted me.